Sticks & Stones

(Although the following blurb is about two pages in length, it is about a personal struggle of mine and it is my wish that all of you will read it and after reading it, hopefully you will look at how you treat others in a whole new light)

The Question I Ask Myself…
How can the actions (sticks & stones) of others upset me so much? After pondering this for some time now, I’ve set out for an answer and this is what I’ve come to realize with the help of the book titled, Sticks & Stones Exposed along with the help of my lifeline, the Bible.

Even Golden Rule Gurus Need Help…
If you are one of those people who try to live your life by the age old, “Golden Rule” and you feel your pretty good at doing so, chances are that somewhere along the way, you were hurt by the words or actions of others and wanted to do something about it. Otherwise, why would the “Golden Rule” be so important to you? Don’t we all want to be treated with kindness and thus, we set out to treat others with kindness? I’ll put it this way…if anyone has ever said something that hurt your feelings, not said something that hurt your feelings, done something that hurt your feelings, or not done something that hurt your feelings, it is quite possible they did not even realize it (or, maybe they did!). In turn, you could have done the very same thing to someone else without even realizing it (or, maybe you did realize it!).

To put it more plainly, actions and words can be “sticks and stones” and can act as omissions: They can be the things you DON’T do, you FORGET to do, or you simply don’t think are IMPORTANT. So, step out of your comfort zone and look at how you treat others. When you find that answer, you may realize why people treat you the way they do.

Food for Thought…
If you had 28, 16 year-old students in your classroom who all recently took their driving test and you asked 27 of those students how they did on the test, how do you think the one student you didn’t ask would feel? If you have any heart or empathy for other people, you would realize that you excluded that one student and probably made he or she feel very hurt.

To my Family, Friends, Acquaintances, and Those in Between…
Since I’ve recently (and not so recently) had my feelings hurt, I really want to make the effort to let all of my friends & family know that if I have ever said (or not said) anything that hurt your feelings, done anything that hurt your feelings, or better yet, made you feel like you were not a part of something, I am sorry and probably didn’t even realize it. Also, let’s talk about it b/c our relationship is more important than “sticks & stones” or even pride.

Although I am not perfect and never have claimed to be, I still believe that God has always given me a kind heart and a loving personality towards people in general. I do not have a mean bone in my body; however, it is very difficult for me to continue to be kind to those who are not kind to me. I know that as a Christian I am called to “turn the other cheek” but after being stepped on and hurt by those who have no justifiable reason to treat me the way they do, I refuse to keep turning the other cheek…be it so called friends, family, acquaintances or those in between.

You Know it’s Funny…
I had a guest come and speak to my classes yesterday and her speech was titled “How to have a successful life”. One statement she made really stuck with me. It went like this, “In life, there are people who are ‘users’. These are the people who use other people to get what they want, be it a higher social status, a higher salary, or a different position at their workplace (etc.) and they often do not think of other people (except for the people who they feel they need to impress or who will help them advance). These people, as my guest speaker put it, do not deserve to get to know us for the great person we are on the inside because they can not see past the outside or what other people have told them about us. Shame on them! I agree with her 100 % and could not have put it better myself! I am a grown woman and it is time that I stand up for myself! And, you know what? Sometimes it takes more of a woman or man to stand up to people than is does to coward down and let people treat you like dirt by bossing you around, ignoring you, or being two-faced towards you. Isn’t it easier to sit back and let others treat you this way? Yes, but it takes a strong woman/man to stand up and say enough is enough! Today, that is exactly what I am saying. End of story. I am done with fake “hellos” and hugs and “how are you’s”…especially when these people can only speak to me long enough to boss me around and then ignore me when there are more important people around. I deserve better! It’s funny to me how my guest speaker came and spoke and reinforced the truth I already knew during a week when I needed to hear it the most. You know, it’s funny how God works.

To my TRUE Friends & Family…
Thank you to my true friends and family who take the time to get to know me, support me, spend time with me, and “include” me. I appreciate your genuine friendship and only hope that I am as good of a friend to you as you are to me. God really has blessed me by putting you in my life. Love you!

A Favorite Saying of Mine…
“Friendships/Relationships are only worth saving if the person “at fault” is willing to set their pride aside and change for the better. After all, friendship and all relationships in life are two-way streets.” It will never work when there is only one person doing the work.

One Final Thought…Matthew 7:1-5
“Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? Let me take the speck out of your eye, when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.”